Counselling for young people

It’s a completely different kind of counselling

Counselling for young people is different to counselling adults for a variety of reasons. Safeguarding and risk are a vital part of working with young people, these aspects will be discussed later on in this piece. Young peoples’ brains are still developing so they are making sense of the world and themselves. They are susceptible to external influences such as what friends think as they are close to them, there is a natural pull and to avoid being bullied or being seen as different so essentially not part of the group. Bearing this in mind, when working with people who are feeling vulnerable and are susceptible to influence being transparent, clear and patient are all really important. Not projecting onto the young person is something to be mindful of as a therapist as well as the influence a therapist could have on a young person. Young people may need shorter sessions or a few pauses to make sense of things especially if working with issues that are traumatic. It may be likely that the young person has not had counselling before so explaining the process and the expectation (or lack of) is really important to put the person at ease. It may feel weird, intimidating sitting in a room with a stranger and then wondering what to say or what they may be asked. Silence for some is difficult so they may feel the need to fill this. Talking about feelings is not always the easiest thing and again may feel uncomfortable when this is something new. There may also be a concern about misunderstanding, making a mistake, holding back or sparing the therapist’s feelings, which all could feature in the work.  

Key Considerations in Counselling for Young People

Adapting to Developmental Needs and Contextual Factors

Child development is something that is crucial when working with young people, in other words pitching the session at the right pace, using language that is understandable and the level of understanding of the young person will all need to be taken into consideration. This includes working with young people with additional needs and how these affect their understanding as well as how the presenting issue is having an impact on each individual young person and the young person’s attachment style.  

Having up to date knowledge of young peoples’ language, the influence of and the role social media plays and the issues facing young people are also areas to take into consideration when looking at the context of counselling.  Understanding the young persons’ frame of reference is also important as anything too unfamiliar will be difficult to understand. Young people can be honest about how they feel about certain tasks or questions asked of them as they do not always mask their true feelings like adults do. If they are not able to express this verbally for fear of being “rude” or not “pleasing” they may well show how they feel by looking bored, disinterested or fidgeting (although not to be confused with becoming overwhelmed/dysregulated). 

Young people usually like to try out more creative ways of working as it can feel less intimidating than just talking and there is usually a clear expectation. It also taps into the non verbal way of communicating, which for some works much better if they are more tactile and visual in their approach and communication style. This way of communicating also provides a place to support young people to make sense of their feelings, by giving them words to express if they have not been able to find those words to attach to their feelings and emotions. It is important to give young people choice over whether to use creative methods in sessions and for them to know should they want to in the future they just need to ask. It may not have felt right today, but that does not mean it will not next time or in a few weeks for example. Allowing young people choice is part of empowering them to have a voice and supporting them to recognise what they need. At first, some reluctance to use creative methods may be out of embarrassment or feeling too unfamiliar however, with reassurance this sometimes changes and powerful work can emerge.  

Building a Safe and Rewarding Therapeutic Relationship
with Young People in Counselling

Young people tend to be receptive and want to try things out, as they are still discovering who they are and what works for them and what does not, which fits with this. There is less sceptism than with adults and the desire to give things a go is evident. Providing a safe, non judgemental and validating environment for young people is part of building the therapeutic relationship. In this fast paced world where comparison, fear of being judged and wanting to be accepted means at times it does not always feel ok to be your authentic self, counselling offers the space to allow the “real you” to be seen, explored and to emerge at a pace and in a way that feels safe.  

Safeguarding as previously mentioned is an integral part of counselling young people as the nature of a young person being still a child (under 18 years of age) has rights in Law to live free from abuse and warrants protection from adults and maybe services to achieve this. It is important to set out the perimeters of the work and what will be kept confidential and what will not so that there is a shared understanding and trust and no collusion on the therapist’s part with the treatment of the young person if there are concerns. Being a professional with a duty of care towards each client means that action will have to be taken should it need to be. When young people disclose certain information it is because they trust you enough to do so, it is likely they expect you to take action and act in a way that is placing their best interests first.  

Working with young people is very rewarding and offers a different dimension to counselling adults. Supporting the next generation of young people to feel safer, more empowered and understand their needs and how to respond to them is certainly a privileged position to be in.